My Heart Was Broken Open
The best way to describe what happened to me recently is ”my heart was broken open.” It is difficult to explain, but for the 18 other people who were there with me, our week together felt like time stopped for a moment, and we were able to free our minds and souls.
One of my best friends and I left the hustle of Los Angeles and drove to the location located right on the cliffs of Pacific Coast Highway in Big Sur. The two of us let go of our cell phones and emails, and for 5 days began to look inside.
I admit the process at times was one of the most grueling things I have ever experienced in my life, but by sharing and watching others reveal some of their darkest and scariest fears, insecurities, and dreams, I realized my heart and soul were shifting.
It would be impossible to tell you everything we experienced and honestly, most of it stays there in the room we shared for a week of our lives. I can say I have slowed down physically and mentally. I see life and people differently. I am not sure how long this “high” will last. Joe says it is a lifetime of work.
The truth is we ALL carry around pain inside whether it’s from our upbringing, our life experiences outside the family, or simply our own negative voices that often break us down daily. The beauty lies in the ability to shift even if we don’t know how. As a group, we started by just talking, sharing, listening….
We took time to look inside and asked ourselves, what am I feeling? What do I want to say? What’s hurting? What can I resolve? Joe also says the key is to ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I answer the question?”
I admit I learned being vulnerable isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, it feels good in a strange magnetic way.
I also learned letting go of trying to be what I think others expect me to be, allows me to have freedom to enjoy the present moment. I don’t have to always be looking to the future and trying to do and be more, more, more.
You may be reading this and thinking that sounds like a lot of Psycho-babble. If you are, I get it. I thought the same thing going in. A lot of us did. No judgement here, but what I do wish for you is that you take a moment today to really see and hear YOU, flaws and all. You may actually like what you find, even in the darkest moment.
Thank you Joe Cavanaugh, Heather Toles and all of you who showed up for the workshop to make ourselves and the world a better place to exist. xo